The LOST girls

By Ellen

In my neighborhood, you can't wait for the bus without seeing lots of missing cat posters. Sometimes there's a small dog in the mix, but most every lamppost is 100% feline.

In these parts (SW Portland), the coyote sightings have gone up every year since the new Sylvan exit got built into the 26. There is even a warning sign on Fairmount that says coyotes can be aggressive and to watch out in case you are walking your dog. So the signs for the cats say LOST, when they probably should say LUNCH.

Also along my bus line are thongs. The little panties are usually curled up in the gutter or nestled among the grass on parking strips, but there is a polka-dotted green one now hanging from a tree branch. I am old enough to think of them as underwear for not-so-nice girls. At first I thought it was a girl gang sign the way sneakers on wires are for boys, but then I thought of the coyotes and how they must be getting big on cats. And they just have to eat more to maintain their weight.

I know in real life these girls haven't been eaten by coyotes; their underwear has just fallen out of their boyfriends' cars. But here's what I'm hoping: Maybe, just maybe, they're throwing their slutty underwear around in a modern kind of bra burning. They're going back to comfortable, nice-girl, full-rear underwear in 100% cotton. And they are celebrating their newfound liberation by thong throwing.