Gotta go

By Bob

Late on a Friday night around the Portland State campus, the bar-goers and party people were making their way home. Three such happy folks, smelling of beer and smokes, wandered from the Cheerful Tortoise to the bus stop at Jackson and Broadway.

As they waited for the bus, one guy said to his two college-age companions, "I gotta take a leak." One of his friends said, "I do, too." The third guy just nodded his head as, a few blocks away, the No. 12 came into sight, stopped at a traffic light. "We'd better hurry," one of the three said.

This particular block on Broadway has a row of bushes and hedges along the sidewalk, next to fencing that walls off a PSU parking lot and tennis court. Not stupid, just drunk, the three guys took advantage of their surroundings. They separated themselves a bit, and each one squeezed into various openings in the hedge to do their
business.

Conducting their tasks with dispatch, they emerged about a minute later -- just as the No. 12 was pulling over at the Jackson Street stop. As they climbed aboard the bus, the last one on said, with obvious relief: "Man, I'm glad those bushes were there. I don't think I could have held it to Terwilliger. I probably would've peed my jeans."

A fortunate fellow. As were his friends and, unknowingly, his fellow passengers.