Victoria's Secret, finally revealed

By Ellen

This is from the 4, coming into town from NE Russell. There were a few seats left in the front. Two were taken up by a massive, greasy-haired young woman who, in previous eras, would have made a perfect sideshow fat lady. A microwave oven was in the seat next to her. A few stops in, a raggedy man got on. He took the seat one over from me, and I saw that beneath the filth, he was sort of handsome and young. He knew the fat woman, I imagined, from some social service. They talked about people they knew, and the woman said it was her daughter's birthday soon. She hadn't seen her in a few years, but she had a picture she dug out from her bag.

Then she said, "Oh, look. My favorite lotion. It's by Victoria's Secret. Have you ever smelled Victoria's Secret Body Lotion?" The man said he hadn't. The bus was going over the bridge."It's the best."

She opened her bag and started shaking a pink bottle. When she opened it, I'm sure the whole bus smelled it, it was so strong. She was massaging the lotion into her hands, all the while saying, "This is the best lotion. It's so good. Mmm."

Then we were in Old Town, and they both started to stand up. The man motioned toward the microwave and said, "Let me get that." "That's a new microwave I found," the woman said.

The bus stopped with its doors open, waiting for them to get off. "I'm going to try to sell it," the woman said.

The man had the oven in his arms and faced the back of the bus. "Anyone want to buy a brand-new microwave?"

No one moved or said anything, so the couple turned and got off.